11 months.

I was just realizing today that I've been officially a "full-time missionary" for 11 months now!

That means 11 months living by faith, leaning on my brothers and sisters all around the world, walking in boldness, seeing God move in many ways.

Here are some of the things I'm thankful for!!!

1. A beautiful new home and family here in Kona! I am seriously SOOOOOO blessed to live with these amazing individuals who love Jesus so much!! I can't wait to do life with them and see all of the wild things God does in all of us these coming years!

2. The people who I have had the privilege of leading to Jesus since being here. Two wonderful individuals who I will never forget. They were so ready to receive Jesus and I am so honored I got to be a part of them meeting their Savior!

3. All 25+ airplanes I've gotten to ride on to various places all over the world this year. Each flight has been a MIRACLE of financial provision and God setting up extra-cheap tickets for me! Each trip has
blown me away, seeing God's faithfulness and goodness even to provide me with food and connections everywhere I go. He has never let me down even one time!

4. Seeing the power of prayer in action. Release of millions of dollars to help missionaries and ministries all over the world. Captives set free. Miracles and healing. Deliverance. Release of joy and
hope and freedom! Breaking of strongholds. I can't even count up how much has happened through times in prayer with the Lord, joining with Him in His eternal plan of redemption!!

5. Discipleship. Receiving wisdom, truth, and encouragement from some of the most amazing Christian leaders and mentors IN THE WORLD. I can't believe the people I've gotten to know over the past year, and who have poured into me and called out my
identity/potential. It is crazy. Also, the honor of getting to pour these same revelations into other world-changers through joining DTS staff! This is perhaps even greater than receiving. Getting to watch God nurture and grow the seeds of His truth in other peoples' lives, and being a part of that!

6. Personal breakthrough. I feel more whole than ever before, the Lord is teaching me how to take care of myself physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually. I can feel Him strengthening me and calling me higher, to step fully into my calling.

7. Month by month, having enough finances to pay for everything I
need, some being big costs like a computer or rent or a plane ticket or a moped! And still having enough--somehow--to give to others in need. It amazes me how finances work in the Kingdom. Seems like the more we give, the more we have!

8. Teaching children and adults all sorts of things I'm passionate about, from hearing God's voice to preaching the Gospel, to identity and purpose, to dance, to art...etc. Again, amazing the doors that have opened up for someone like me with little experience to be able to share the things on my heart and impart to others on this wild journey of faith.

9. Friendship. Enough said. I'm blown away by the people who want to be my friends here. They're all incredible.

10. Increased intimacy with Jesus, which is the greatest gift of all!

11. I'm thankful that this is JUST THE BEGINNING OF A LIFE POURED OUT IN FAITH, THROUGH LOVE, BECAUSE OF JESUS, FOR HIS GLORY!

Choosing the Light

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John 1:5-7.

"I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he." Deuteronomy 32:4.

This is going to sound like a bunch of ramblings. Basically, I've been realizing two major truths from these verses.

First, God is light. He is perfection. There is NO darkness in Him. There is NO injustice in Him. There is NO sin or wrong in Him.

So voices of compromise, shame, accusation, or injustice are not from God. Neither is lust, bitterness, rage, or mockery. We try to excuse these kinds of voices by pointing to different Scriptures, but it just doesn't work. There is not even a shifting shadow in God. He is fully light.

If we want to be close to Him, we must allow His light to shine into every area of our lives. This may sound scary, but it's actually a joyful thing. You can see how the enemy has deceived you for so long, and you can walk away from that deception. You can walk into life.

We can't have fullness of life until we let God root out every stronghold of death and darkness in our hearts.

The second thing is fellowship. One of the enemy's main tactics against us as Christians is isolation. Just like 1 John talks about, when we walk in the light of Christ we have fellowship with one another. We help keep each other grounded, solid, and built up. God created fellowship so we can encourage and edify each other.

Again, accusation, deception, suspicion, and isolation are not from God.

God enjoys perfect fellowship in the Trinity--Father, Son, Holy Spirit. He also desires deep fellowship with us. He desires for us to have that fellowship with each other as well.

I think that God answered Jesus' prayers. So I have to believe that God answered Jesus when in John 17 He prayed that we as believers would be ONE just like He and the Father are one.

I know it's a bunch of jumbled ramblings, but the two main points are here:
--God is light.
--When we walk in the light, we have FELLOWSHIP and UNITY with each other.

I want that!!!

Relentless Pursuit

In the beginning, God created. His first act, the first way he revealed himself, was to create. (Genesis 1:1). Our God is a creative and active God! From the first moment of time he was forming and shaping masterpieces!

The world was formless and empty; he hovered over the earth, and then he spoke. He filled the emptiness--God has always desired to fill the emptiness with life.

Over and over, God is moved by us!

God heard the cry of his people in Egypt and he came, he rescued them with many signs and wonders. (Exodus 3:7-8).

He led his people with a cloud by day, and a fire by night. He sprinkled the ground with food from heaven. He met them with lightning and thunder.

After the Law was given, and Israel had already begun to rebel against the Lord, Moses interceded on behalf of the people. In a moment of boldness, Moses asked, "LORD, SHOW ME YOUR GLORY." After all the laws, all the rebellion, all the frustration, God instantly relented and was moved by Moses's desire. So the Lord encountered Moses with his glory. (Exodus 33:12).

Time and time again, the Lord led his people. He led through the judges, through the kings. In 2 Samuel 22, David talks about how God reached down from heaven and took hold of him. How the Lord rode on the clouds and scattered David's enemies. David shares the the Lord prepares him for battle, and trains his hands to bend a bow of bronze.

In Jeremiah 2, God asks, “What fault did your ancestors find in me,
    that they strayed so far from me?
They followed worthless idols
    and became worthless themselves.
6 They did not ask, ‘Where is the Lord,
    who brought us up out of Egypt
and led us through the barren wilderness,
    through a land of deserts and ravines,
a land of drought and utter darkness,
    a land where no one travels and no one lives?’
7 I brought you into a fertile land
    to eat its fruit and rich produce.
But you came and defiled my land
    and made my inheritance detestable."

And yet time and time again, God is moved with love and compassion toward his people. He continues to fight on their behalf and rescue them.

Even in the midst of exile, when Jerusalem is in ruins and there seems to be no hope, God promises his people a hope and a future. He works through foreign kings like Cyrus (Isaiah 45), he walks with his people even in their utter brokenness and shame, and he is quick to forgive (Isaiah 43).

When the people don't listen to God himself, he sends prophets.

The people continually reject the Lord.

Then, this God, this God of passion and action, performs the ultimate act.

Jesus came.

In Isaiah 61 we find that he came to proclaim freedom and favor, to bind up the brokenhearted, to preach good news, to release prisoners from darkness, to pour out the oil of joy, to comfort, and to bestow blessing.

Isaiah 53 says that he was rejected, despised, crushed, beaten, and bruised.

While Jesus was on earth, he taught, spoke, held the children, fed  the multitudes, shared life with his disciples, told stories, healed the sick, cured diseases, opened eyes, cast out demons, cleansed lepers, encountered sinners, ate with tax collectors, healed the lame, was moved with compassion,

In Matthew 23:37 Jesus is found weeping over Jerusalem and saying, "Oh how I have longed to take you up in my arms!"

He raised the dead, redeemed, delivered, saved, transformed, prayed, wept, was arrested, beaten, mocked, tortured....he died...and HE ROSE AGAIN.

(Philippians 2:6-11)

It doesn't end there! Jesus also sent the Holy Spirit. (John 14:16).

The Spirit comforts, counsels, helps, intercedes on our behalf (See Romans 8), gives us words, gives gifts and wisdom, brings peace and life, speaks truth, and along with the Church he beckons Christ to come again.

1 John 4:19 says that we love because Christ first loved us. Like in Romans 5:8, when we were still in rebellion, Christ died for us.

So you see, from Genesis to the end of Revelation, God is acting on our behalf. And he will continue to do so.

Everything we do must be out of response to that love. We aren't just serving this God out of obligation, but rather out of overflow of all he has done throughout history in order to encounter us, right here, right now, in this moment.

Our God is not passive. We weren't made to be passive either.

Pursue relentless love.

Nepal!!!

Hello, dear friends and family!

I am so excited to announce that I will be leading a team on a 10-week missions trip to Nepal! I have been on full-time staff here at Youth With a Mission for nearly a year now, and this fall have the honor of being an outreach leader with one of our schools, the Compassion Ablaze Discipleship Training School.

I will be leading a team of 8 students alongside my amazing co-leader, Luke Ballard. Both of us have completed DTS and been called back to YWAM as full-time staff for the next two years (or more!). It's already been an amazing journey, learning how to send for visas, book flights, contact ministries overseas, and receive God's heart for a nation I've never set foot in.

Nepal is home to about 26 million people, who speak 122 different languages! It is a tiny country sandwiched between China and India, and reflects influences from both of these nations as well as embracing its own unique culture. 80% of Nepal is Hindu, and many popular religious soul-searching sites can be found there. It is also over 97% unreached, meaning most of the population has never heard the Gospel or had the privilege of going to church, reading a Bible in their own language, etc. Since a majority of the population also lives in rural villages scattered throughout the Himalayas, it is difficult to spread the good news of God's love.

While our team is there, we will be able to partner with a few different ministries and contacts. The first thing we want to do is pray over every place we go. We believe that prayer shakes the strongholds of the enemy and invites God's presence even into the darkest places of the earth. We're excited to walk around the Hindu temples praying and worshiping the one true God. We will also have the opportunity to work with children, youth, families, and churches. Our ministry will be very relational as well as very practical. We want to live the Gospel, not just preach it! Some things we may get to participate in include: cafe ministry, children's programs, speaking in churches, painting classrooms, praying over people, teaching English and art, helping the sick, and providing clothes/food for the poor.

Another part of our trip that we are all extremely excited for is our trek! We will be embarking on a short trek through the Himalayas to visit the rural villages and share the Gospel. I get chills when I think about the possibility of being the first person to share God's love with some of these people we will meet!

In spite of the high percentage of unreached people in Nepal, this nation is very open to Jesus.

As we have sent other teams over the past couple of years, we have heard testimonies of countless healings, miracles, and many giving their lives to Jesus. Our team anticipates much fruit to come from our trip also, as we continually pray and seek the Lord's heart for Nepal.

I only need $2000 in order to lead this team to Nepal! Would you pray about supporting me? It is an amazing way to partner with what God is doing in Nepal, and it would be an amazing blessing for me! I am praying so hard that I will be able to raise this small amount to go to these beautiful people! Please join me in prayer, for me and my team while we are there, and please consider partnering with me!

If you have more questions, email or call me: dancingheart139@gmail.com or 303-378-5359

Be blessed, Rachel

Old Writings..... volume 3.

A Child’s Gaze

Pools of liquid mahogany beckon,

Drawing me in to their depths.

A thousand reflections dance before me.

I sway with the kaleidoscope.

Fire drips from the sky;

My sweat offers a standing ovation

Heat from sun and smoke from flame

Are the life of your existence.

I dare not touch the water.

Yellow, brown, green, it holds its treasure-box

Beneath a mass of death sentences.

This is the river that nourishes you.

The girl behind me reflects in your dark depths—

Your childhood best-friend.

Once delighted to go swimming each day,

She now sells her body to a tourist.

Shouts from across the rutted street

Cause tremors of ripples to race across your surface.

Why do the sounds still shock you so?

The drug dealers are at it again.

I smell Mama’s cooking;

You seem to sense it too as the ripples dissipate.

Rice-mush and bean-paste

Are the feast of a king.

Your clouds of yellow shroud

Memories blocked from the world:

Violence, abuse, starvation.

I can sense their haunting presence.

I shrink back at a loss for words.

The kaleidoscope vanishes; I blink.

I step away from your enrapturing gaze,

With a fear that you are studying me as well.

Old Writings.... volume 2.

Some of them are kind of haunting but super intriguing still!

13 Uses for a Bandana

#1.  The neighborhood sleeps this Saturday afternoon;

A splash of color reaches my eye.

I notice the bandana on the kitchen table,

 Beckoning me.

#2. It is the most exotic color I have ever seen.

I reach for the bandana

While the nerves in my hand play popcorn.

#3. I store treasures in the bandana,

Treasures past and treasures future.

The bandana watches over them.

#4. Dinner on a cool summer evening,

And the bandana is there,

Put to good use as a tablecloth.

Four young couples eat over it.

#5. I pick up the bandana.

I tie it around my neck and yank.

#6. I am dissatisfied with one bandana,

Overwhelmed by two.

And yet I search for a third.

#7. A party.

Guests arrive, in dinner dresses and suits.

They play games.

Blind Man’s Bluff is the bandana’s favorite.

#8. I tighten the bandana over my nose and lips.

I am an outlaw.

No one knows me,

Nor do I know anyone.

#9. The siren blares through a suffocating blizzard.

White flakes frolic outside, watching.

The bandana is my companion,

Covering the noble face of a dead man.

#10. A child is sent off to school,

Backpack indenting shoulders, bandana in hand.

He returns with the bandana tied around a bleeding arm.

Red accents the bandana’s design.

#11. Another child shrieks in the depths of a basement.

His back stings.

The bandana strikes again.

#12. I notice the bandana on the kitchen table,

Beckoning me.

I walk away.

#13. A busy street—people are bustling around in a swarm.

I see thousands of people.

I see thousands of bandanas.

Description: This poem is kind of an analogy of knowledge and how it affects a person. (It is also true of power). Each stanza has a different meaning:

1. First seeing the beauty of knowledge.

2. Desiring knowledge.

3. Knowledge is valuable.

4. Knowledge can be useful for practical reasons. Many people are unaware of its power.

5. Knowledge can kill a person.

6. We are overwhelmed by the things that we know, yet can never seem to know enough. We desire more and more although we already complain that we are overwhelmed by what we know.

7. Knowledge can be used to lead others, for better or worse. People mess around with it sometimes. (This is also an analogy of the professional world, and manipulating others.)

8. Knowledge can be used for evil and can hinder a person from enjoying life.

9. People can leave behind a legacy of knowledge.

10. Knowledge can be helpful, and lessen pain. When we know why something is happening, often it is easier to cope or adjust.

11. Knowledge can also be harmful, and can be used against people.

12. What would happen if we did not pursue knowledge? If we did not hunger for its power?

13. Everyone holds knowledge within. It engulfs society. Everyone is marked with a different story, different minds, different thoughts.

Old Writings.....

I just found this poem I wrote in University. Pretty intriguing if I do say so myself!

Tell me what is,

Which can be in prison,

Yet run wild

While its enemies pursue?

Tell me what is,

Which is older than oldest,

Yet to many

Seems quite young and new?

Tell me what is,

Which knows no home or country

Yet anywhere

Will lay its head?

Tell me what is,

Which never feels hunger

Or thirst, yet

Knows much about bread?

Tell me what is,

Which cannot speak or gesture

Yet speaks to

Your heart and to mine?

I’ll tell you what is,

Since you seem not to see,

That the Bible

Is what I just defined.

How to Gain Wisdom--Some Wise Steps

In Proverbs 2 we find this timeless advice:

indeed, if you call out for insight
    and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
    and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
    and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
    from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
    he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
    and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Lately in my quest to know God more and the vastness of His character, I have discovered the value of relationship. A wise person told me recently that truth is revealed through relationship. Pretty much everything we discover about ourselves, or the universe we dwell in, or the God who conducts it all like a mass orchestra, we learn through relationships of some sort. Left on our own, we only see a broken, blurred half-sort-of reflection of what life really is. We need each other. We were formed out of the dust for the very purpose of relationship. I'm learning some keys to healthy and flourishing relationships that will help us also discover truth and understand God more. These things work with the Lord too as we seek fellowship with Him. It is a lifestyle of the Proverb--crying out for insight.

1. Listen well. I believe that most strife, conflict, and misunderstanding vanishes when we take the time to listen. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a past, present, and future. In a society that's all about talking and opinions, the counter-culturally radical thing to do is listen. Your heart and mind will be opened and I guarantee you will learn something.

Have you stopped, erased agenda, and simply listened to the Holy Spirit lately?

2. Ask good questions. I started praying that I would ask good questions. Did you know with one simple question you can squeeze minutes of solid-gold wisdom out of a wise person? It's true! The truth is right there waiting to be discovered. Stuck with what to ask? Ask someone you admire how they got where they are; ask them how they stay there; ask them something as simple as, "What is the biggest word of advice you could give to me off the top of your head?" Get to KNOW them. Then apply step one and LISTEN--soak in what they're saying. You know, you'll be asked for wisdom some day too!

What questions are you burning to ask God about Himself?

3. Encourage and honor people. This isn't flattery. It's truth. It starts with simple compliments; then it searches deeper, into the beautiful depths of a person. What do you appreciate about the people around you? And those you admire, why do you admire them? Make sure you admire them for a worthy cause. For example: I can name right now each person that has inspired each of these bits of advice I'm writing in this blog, and why I have modeled pieces of my life after them! As we honor others, we are pointing out God's reflection in them, and then choosing to imitate our Creator also through following their example.

Do you actually admire Jesus? Does your life show it?

4. Pray for opportunity, then take it! God opens up crazy doors. I have heard people who have met leaders in very high places, because God gave them the opportunity. Faith trumps qualifications. If you feel you need a circumstance to change in order for you to grow in wisdom, then ask the Lord. And don't be afraid to step out and try new things. Receive the favor of the Lord, but wait for His timing also.

Are you seizing every opportunity to spend time with God and allow Him to speak into your life?

5. Find confidence in God alone. As you follow this quest to attain wisdom, as you seek out those who have already walked the path you're trudging down, as you pray for opportunities to grow through experience, place your confidence in God. Don't allow fear of man into your heart. You don't have time for it. Embrace your identity in Christ. Allow yourself to broaden your horizon, but stay focused on the Goal.

How do you find confidence in the Lord? By doing the first one--listen to what He's saying about you!

Los Angeles update #1

I've been in LA for a few days and it has been amazing. I've been honored to be working/living with a team of incredible leaders and lovers of Jesus!

Thursday was registration and our opening worship time--amazing to start it all in God's presence!

Friday we heard from 7 different speakers, pastors, and ministry leaders throughout the day like Francis Chan, Jaeson Ma, Brian Brennt, and Dave Gibbons. All of them spoke a united message:the power of the gospel of Jesus and what we should be doing about it. It was a challenge to step out in faith, take risks, listen to The Lord, and live a life worthy of his calling, full of generosity and compassion. Each one of them spoke of the revival of America too! It was a truly historic event to see the body of Christ from across America and around the world come together for this one purpose of bringing heaven to earth.

Saturday we did an all day outreach in Santa Ana partnering with local churches and businesses to bless the city. My group got to pray for and encourage several people. One guy had a brace on his arm and it looked like he'd ha surgery on it. Anyway we prayed and God totally healed it!! We took the brace off, he move his hand around and said it was better!!

I can't believe the testimonies already--and it's only day 4. Excited to keep updating you!

He Still Parts the Sea.

Crazy story.

Here it goes.

I knew God was calling me to Los Angeles to staff the Circuit Riders school. It's a one week amazing school that is all about the simple Gospel of Christ. And all about finding freedom in Him, worshiping Him, sharing His love with everyone around. I was just so sure I was supposed to go, after lots of prayer and confirmation from various sources.

I was believing for God to provide all of the finances for this trip. Since I live on support all the time, I didn't have much to spare but really believed that God was going to go even above and beyond in the area of provision.

Why?

Mostly because He can. Also because He loves to bless His kids. More specifically, because He knows the battles I've fought and wanted me to know how He steps in and fights for me. Our greatest breakthroughs often come after great battles. I've fought hard to be where I am today. It hasn't been easy. The enemy has literally tried to kill me several times. This trip he's done all sorts of stuff to make sure I can't go. But when that happens, God just comes in with even greater victory.

This trip has been no different. I could feel the warfare from the beginning. No finances came in. I kept praying, kept asking, and all I got was "likes" on my Facebook posts. No money. The date came closer and closer.

The first day I was back home visiting, I got a check in the mail for a significant amount that was exactly what I needed to pay for housing in L.A. I never get mail at my parents' house anymore, and people rarely send me support that way! It was EXACTLY what I needed to COMPLETELY cover housing, and this person had no idea of that!!!

I knew God was up to something big.

A few days later, someone else gave me the amount I had decided to raise for food for my time in L.A. Again, they had no idea I'd decided on that number.

Then...not too much happened. Some support came in, and I watched the plane ticket prices rise.

The crazy thing is that I felt God telling me to wait. That is the hardest thing ever!!! Because a flight can cost $900 one day and $1200 the next. I was at a loss of what to do, but I decided the best thing would be to trust God.

"I'm with you on this trip. My presence is going with you. I support you! I will provide for you!" His truth rang in my ears.

It was a battle! Every time I tried to send out support letters, emails, write blogs, look at tickets, either my computer or the internet would crash. I had no idea who I could call or what to do. So I prayed.

Literally, that's basically all I did! It's all I could do!

And He said, "I want to prove to you that I will provide for you regardless of what YOU do to provide for yourself. I am the One who fights for you."

Every time something went wrong, I'd pray. And He'd make a way.

This week I felt like God said to wait till Monday to buy the ticket. Something was going to happen Monday. It was the hardest thing ever because prices skyrocket over the weekend, and waiting would mean cutting it pretty close to when I have to leave. It was risky. But it was God! I'd rather go on this trip totally 100% with Him, than get a cheaper flight without His favor.

The thing is, I think whether I really heard from God or not, He blesses wild faith. He blesses us when we think we hear His voice and do something radical as a result, fully trusting Him.

On Friday, I still needed $750 and prices were going up. On Saturday I found out a couple people had donated big amounts and I only needed $500. I stopped asking for money at that point. But tickets were all over $1000 by now.

On Sunday, I prayed and gave thanks, resting in God's goodness. He is good. No matter what, provision or debt, He is good.

Then a stranger not only bought my car but donated $500 to my trip!!!!!!!!! That was the first turning point in the whole thing! I had enough, even enough to buy a $1000 ticket! I could have some left over for rent and groceries for the next couple months!

Still, God said wait. Ahhhhhhhh.......I kept waiting.

Monday came and I was so excited to get onto the internet and buy my ticket.

This is where the warfare came back again. My computer wouldn't start. I had to run it through diagnostics in Starbucks (because yes, our internet at the apartment is down). It took ages.

Miraculously I found 1 $800 ticket!!! So excited, I began to purchase it on my phone. Nope...the website crashed.

I called the airline. "The cheapest ticket we have is $1100. It must be an error."

NO WAY!!!

I prayed. And prayed. Must have looked ridiculous pacing in front of Starbucks speaking jibberish. But something was coming against my ability to buy this ticket!!! I had to pray against it!

"God, I know You're good. I need You to make a way. Part the sea, make a way, I need this cheaper ticket."

It was the ONLY cheap ticket on the list by about $300, and God had spoken to me to go to that website first to search, so I KNEW He was up to something. The enemy was also up to something...but God's better.

So after several frustrating minutes, I just changed the search by a day. And there it was. $695. What???? Round-trip? Nice airline? Exact dates? Decent times? $695.

I don't know if this is Biblical. But I think if God can part the Red Sea, He can surely create an airline ticket just for me.

I am so wrecked by His love, faithfulness, and provision right now.

I share this story in hopes that it will stir up your faith and trust in the Lord. His love is the same for you!!! Totally passionate and overflowing. What is your need? I encourage you to trust in the Word of the Lord. That no matter what, He is good, He is loving, He is faithful, and He will fight for you.

He still parts the sea.

Glory looks like Jesus

We had an overnight "Burn" while I was at home in Colorado. The purpose was Jesus: enjoy His presence and adore Him all night.

We met in a church that's in an interesting part of town. That area actually holds a history of darkness and violence. Even the church building itself has had its own history of weird encounters (like most places do).

My favorite thing about the night was that there were no wild visions, manifestations, or crazy angelic encounters (although I am certain there was a host of angels worshiping with us--I could feel it). It wasn't an emotional so-called "mountaintop experience" (that phrase is so annoying) or emotional boost.

It was a first for all of us, staying up all night together in a church worshiping and praying.

And the consensus was, that we all left simply loving Jesus more! Which was the point!

Again--it wasn't an out of body, going in to heaven, seeing wildness, kind of deal. Sometimes we make Jesus so experiential. But Jesus is real! He is a real guy and we can really know Him. He is SO MUCH MORE than a feeling and it's an injustice to consider Him as such.

It's funny because apparently, according to several outside sources, there was a pillar of fog/cloud surrounding the church building where we were worshiping. It stayed all night. From the church, it looked like the whole area was covered in a thick fog so that you could barely see. But friends told us later the fog ended just a couple hundred feet away from the building in each direction.

Even the pastor said he really felt like God's presence entered the church in a fresh way that night.

God's presence changes things. It shifts the atmosphere. It forces darkness to flee in humiliation. It washes the ground of murder and rains redemption.

I'm praying all of these things over that neighborhood and believing that a new day has dawned for that area of town!!

From a Place of Wholeness--Dance Camp Testimony #4

It's hard to minister to people when we ourselves are thirsty, weary, broken, or in bondage. God's grace is enough--it's a promise in His word.

I want to encourage you to walk in the breakthrough you have already received. For a long time I didn't do this. I'd get set free from things like anxiety, self-hatred, nightmares, physical problems, insecurity, and shame--then I'd go right back into those mindsets.

There comes a point in time where you're just free.

You don't have to go back.

It's a matter of believing that Jesus really did take ALL of your brokenness upon His shoulders in the shape of the Cross. And His resurrection defeated ALL of your death.

During a ministry time with the dance students, God began to highlight to me specific girls to pray with. One girl pulled me to the side, and began to weep. I held her and spoke words of life over her soul as God reached in and healed her in deeper ways than I was even aware of.

I was honestly in shock.

God, You have entrusted her heart to me? You want to use me to release Your freedom and grace over her?

A year ago I wasn't even in a place where I could really pray over students. I was so confused and broken myself. This I have learned, and found sure: Walk in the breakthrough you have received.

Jesus says it like this in Matthew 10:8-- "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons.Freely you have received; freely give."

I always feared that moment when a needy person would come to me like this student. Would I be able to help someone in need, when I myself have needs?

But God showed me the beauty of His love. It heals the receiver and the giver. It blesses the broken and the whole. It fills the one pouring out, just as much as the one drinking.

If you walk in breakthrough and wholeness, you will be surprised at the blessing you receive each time someone comes to you for wisdom, prayer, encouragement, or anything else. Our Source is Jesus. He is endless. I encourage you to freely receive His love, and then even more freely give it to those around you who are in need!

Talking with Jesus--Dance Camp Testimony #3

I got to hang out with the younger students at camp one afternoon, our purpose being to listen to God's voice. Kids are incredible, how clearly they hear God. These girls were armed with markers and construction paper, ready to draw any pictures Jesus gave them, and then share them with the older students.

A few of them caught on right away. One girl, about 7 or 8, immediately drew a big cloud with golden raindrops coming out of it, and yellow glory all around. Others wrote specific notes of encouragement to sisters, moms, and close friends.

One girl sat with her hands over her ears, her muscles tense, her eyes a brimming with frustration.

A few minutes earlier we'd practiced listening to Jesus. "It's just like talking to your best friend! Do you guys like to talk to your best friend? Well, Jesus loves to talk to you, too! All the time! It's so fun!"

"I just hear my own thoughts," this girl had responded.

Now I sat next to her to see how she was doing. "I just can't hear anything, and I don't know why!" She exclaimed, exasperated.

I offered to pray with her; she eagerly accepted the offer. "Jesus," I spoke gently, placing my hand on her back, "I thank You for Your daughter. I thank You that she hears Your voice and You love to speak to her. Thank You that she doesn't hear from You like everyone else--it may be different from her friend, but it is still Your voice." (The glory-cloud girl was sitting right next to her, still drawing up a storm with a beaming face.)

I walked around to see how everyone else was getting along, and when I came back this little girl was asking how to spell some things. She was writing something to the effect of, "No longer afraid."

Here's the deal. About 30 minutes earlier, all the students had just been praying through the area of fear, and breaking it off of their lives. This was not just a cute Sunday school phrase she pulled out of a hat. It was a direct word from the Lord for one of the students who she was going to give the note to.

Do you ever feel like the little girl with her hands over her ears? I want to encourage you just as she encouraged me. We all hear God's voice. He really does like to speak to all of us. Sometimes it looks different from the person next to us. We don't all see glory clouds and sunshine rain. But we ALL know the sound of Jesus. It's just a matter of tuning our ears to listen, and trusting that He loves us enough to have a conversation with us.

Lurking in the Shadows--The Effects of Anger

You don't have to be a scholar to see that the world is not all black and white. There's lots of grey areas that Christians spend their time debating over--alcohol, tattoos, music, relationships...etc. Where do you draw the line between right and wrong?

One area I've often been confused about is anger. I'm not even pretending to know everything, but want to share my thoughts on this issue.

The punchline of the sermon often goes like this, "Anger is fine, as long as you handle it well." I mean, Jesus was angry. He cleared the Temple, overturning tables and driving out livestock with a whip (see John 2, Mark 11, and Matthew 21). Although only one passage describes Jesus' emotions, and it uses the word "zeal", never mentioning anger, it is implied that Jesus was a little fiery. And rightly so.

I just found a verse in James which I have always skipped over, that talks about anger. Somehow I've missed the second half of 1:19-20 all these years. Right in between "every good a perfect gift" and "do not merely listen to the word", James sandwiches this nugget of truth:

"...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires."

I get a few things from this verse. The first thing that stuck out to me is that James is talking about man's anger. So there is a difference between God's anger and man's anger. When Jesus yelled at the moneychangers, he wasn't operating in human impulse. He was burning with the very righteousness of God. With perfect zeal.

Jesus knew how to handle that zeal which was inside of him. He knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't just acting in the moment. Every action had a purpose.

If we can learn to grasp this anger which God demonstrates over and over again in Scripture, as he tears down kingdoms and builds new ones, forces kings to their knees and raises up the lowly...if we can imitate this attitude, we're golden. The thing I realized is that my human concept of anger is where the mess comes. We get angry at things that don't bother God. He doesn't get offended like we do--praise the Lord that he doesn't!

This calls for a deep fear of the Lord, a dedication to understanding his heart. Jesus was expressing the deep heartache of God that men had turned his House into a marketplace.

Another word that sticks out to me in this passage is righteousness. Moreover, righteousness that God desires. It's like God is saying, "Listen--I have something so much better for you than the sour feeling that's creeping through your stomach right now. You don't have to get upset about this stuff--you can learn to gaze on My face instead, and soak in beauty rather than offense."

I am so thankful that God offers to release us from the chains of bitterness and offense. He cancelled all our offenses on the Cross. He brought ultimate reconciliation. This isn't to say that problems won't ever come up, but we can live free from the human anger that is so tempting.

God says, "Don't look to offense. Look to Me."

He is righteousness. He is perfection. He is love.

As we look to Him and His word, His peace and joy enter our hearts. We don't have room to be angry! We are more consumed with destroying offense and hurt than feeling it!

Does this mean we walk around with cheesy smiles all the time? No. Jesus showed a depth of joy that was so strong, it enabled Him to go to the Cross and be killed for the sake of those who hated him. This is what I'm talking about. His eyes were so fixed on the truth that He even begged God to forgive those who nailed His hands to the wood.

Many of us have been hurt by angry, selfish, bitter, or offended people. Christ is offering freedom. He says, "That way has never brought growth or holiness. Let's try my way. Let's fill those burned holes in your heart with joy and grace instead."

I hope that this encourages you not to try and cover up your hurts, but to allow Jesus to heal them, and allow His zeal into your heart.

Love like Jesus--Dance Camp Testimony #2

Thursday is pretty much known as the crying day at camp. In the afternoon we have a ministry time where students can rededicate their lives to Christ, surrender things they've been holding onto, receive healing, and be prayed over.

For my class, the crying started at about 10:15am. Ha!

It was the last day we got to spend together aside from dress rehearsal, so we spent some time praying together. First I had everyone pray for anyone on their heart who it has been difficult for them to love. That's when tears started, tears of compassion for the broken people in our lives. Wow, already wrecked.

Then, I had everyone buddy up. The goal was to listen to Jesus and get an encouraging word for the other person, straight from heaven. The girls took turns asking the Lord how he felt about the other person, then they shared.

I watched from the side as one by one these young teens were touched by the love of Jesus. The youngest in the class broke down crying for a long time, her eyes wide open to God's love for her--I could almost see her heart just softening and growing right there.

The amazing thing is that these girls were ministering to each other. They totally took initiative and joyfully listened to their Jesus share his heart with them.

Perfect love casts out all fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of messing up, fear of not hearing God right.

It was incredible to watch these young ladies tear down fear from day one, and choose to think the thoughts of heaven, speaking encouragement and life over each other all the time. And again, it was all them, saying yes to Jesus! I mostly just got to watch and be blown away!!

Every Soul--Dance Camp Testimony #1

Wednesday morning worship definitely took us all to a new level at dance camp this summer. We started off by just singing to Jesus whatever was on our hearts. It was so beautiful to see 120-some voices set free from any fear or insecurity that may have held them down before. That set the atmosphere for worship that day.

We'd been talking about love all week, and up to this point specifically hitting the issue of identity.

Now, full of fresh revelation of God's love for us, an anthem arose.

I remember singing it in London last summer, for 30 minutes straight as its truth sank deep into my spirit, like a hot seal that would never be torn away. Now I led a room full of hungry Jesus-lovers in the song:

Jesus, You are worth it all--every nation, every soul...

What a wild statement! That every thing he asks us to do, every possession he asks us to give up, every place he asks us to go, is worth it. Because HE IS WORTHY. He is worthy of every single soul, every sigle person's heart and adoration.

It's an anthem that says, "We will not give up--we will not quit--until every knee bows and every tongue confesses that our Jesus is Lord!"

The camp director came up on stage, calling everyone in the room to a life of surrender, of radical faith, of total obedience. That life of saying yes to God no matter the cost.

I opened my eyes and saw a multitude of hands raised high, young people laying down everything, crying out for the nations to know Jesus! And agreeing to go, no matter what, to share His love no matter how difficult.

There was even a group of students who had come up to the front of the stage and were kneeling together like an altar call. We hadn't even told them to do that! They came to the front because they were saying yes to Jesus!! Some of them wept, praying over each other and embracing each other.

It was such a beautiful, pure-hearted surrender to the Lord.

I was moved to tears as I looked out over that room. I've seen hundreds of young people sing that song and say yes to God's call on their lives. But this was something different. This was a frightening realization that the call to GO to all the earth, the call to radical faith, to laid-down lives, to wild love, has broken forth into every area of society. It is a sweeping movement like a tsunami. It can't be stopped! Even children raise their hands and cry out, "Lord, send me! I will go!" Teenagers climb out of depression and self-hatred in order to grab onto God's life-altering call.

The movement's started. No longer is the church sitting in complacency, watching the world die a slow and miserable death. Suddenly, and anthem arises. It is here, and growing louder each day.

"Jesus, You are worth it all--every nation, every soul..."

Solid Gold Prayers

I know what it feels like to get "stuck" in the area of spiritual growth, and specifically in prayer. Here are some solid gold prayers that I've learned are great to get you out of a rut! The reason they're so great? Well, they are the Bible. These aren't my idea to pray...they originally came from the Holy Spirit, through people like David, Paul, and other heroes of the faith...and also other amazing followers of Jesus taught them to me. They're great to write out, memorize, and repeat till you get them in your heart and mind!! Some of these I pray daily, most of them I pray at least once a week.

Psalm 86:11--Teach me your ways, O Lord and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name.

Colossians 3:1-3--Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Ephesians 3:16-19--I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 1:17-19--I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe...

For more ideas, go to: http://konaprayerroom.com/resources/.

Philippians

A few verses stick out to me every time I recite Philippians, as I have been memorizing this book over the past couple of months. I thought I'd share them with you!!

Philippians 1:9--
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may discern what is best...
I just love this--out of everything he could pray, Paul asked for their love to ABOUND. And through that, for their insight and wisdom to deepen in the Lord so that they could understand His ways. Wow! Through understanding God's love, we understand Him more.

Philippians 2:9-11--
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven, and on earth, and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
That's just amazing--totally what I live for! When I get to this part of Philippians, I usually start giggling and shouting. :)

Philippians 2:13--
...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Whoa. This is our motivation! That as we seek to follow God more, He is the one who does the work, who stirs our hearts, who teaches us and helps us grow. Yes!!

Philippians 3:8-9--
What is more, I consider everything loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him...
That I may be found in Christ...this is the greatest thing!

Philippians 3:12--
...I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
This is just like a healthy dose of fear of the Lord. He is up to something so big! I want to be a part of it!

Philippians 3:20-21--
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
Heavenly perspective!! We are awaiting the Savior of the world who HAS come and WILL COME AGAIN!! We have nothing to worry about!

Philippians 4:7--
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
So God's peace actually GUARDS our minds. I've always thought that I need to change my mind so that I can have peace. But it's the opposite. Choose to rest in God's peace, and let Him clear your mind of anything else. His peace is not just a nice feeling, it's a guard against attacks on our minds and hearts!

For Freedom

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."

I wasn't always free. Hard to believe, in this society of self-sufficiency, raised in a Christian family, where people believed in me. But true freedom is a pretty new concept to me.

You see, when I was just a little older than three, the enemy came in with his deceit and stole what was dear to me. My innocence, rubbed in the dirt, along with my worth, it made my little heart hurt. Hard to understand, I foolishly took his hand; he offered what I could not have, and I wanted it--so into the darkness I ran.

Fear gripped me so tightly I could feel its prickly rope around my neck tightening, tightening, till I was gasping for breath. I gave into his twisted lies, because if I didn't I'd lie awake through the night, gazing at the shadows and shivering with fright. So he took my mind.

Confusion like a cloud hovered all around, my life a blur, lost in the sound of chaos and questions and many, many doubts.

I was a child in chains, filled with shame I could hardly contain, yet unsure from what source it came. Unsatisfied with who I was, I tried in vain to cover up.

The story goes much deeper, but let me get to the end. Because I met a God who became my friend. I never  got how his love could never end--but then I reached my end, and there he was, waiting for me. I could hardly believe he still loved me, after all I'd done to him. I'd made a deal with his enemy. I'd given myself away freely. I'd said, "Do what you want with me." My goodness--what was I thinking?

But there was God, his love never-ending. He tore me away from the demons around me--the ones that lurked in my room and kept me awake, that messed with my mind in the night and in the day. Jesus Christ himself set me free.

My enemies, he destroyed with his sword; my mind, he renewed with his word.

He brought me out of darkness, into his light. His glorious, beautiful light. And I finally had sight! To see him for real, for the first time--to see his true character, and taste eternal life!

He really can break chains--he broke mine, he'll break yours. In his name alone is your hope secure.

If he can pull me out and set me free. He can surely do anything. Let's just trust him and see!!

Malachi

This morning I read Malachi for the first time and it blew my mind with just the realization of God's worthiness. This 2 1/2 page book is basically a conversation with God and the people of Israel--Israel asking what they have done and God telling them.

In 1:6, God says to Israel, "A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honor due me? If I am a master, where is the respect due me?" Wow. If we honor humans who have authority over us, how much more should we honor the God of the universe, who calls us by name and has every day of our lives written in heaven!

Later in verse 8 he says, "When you bring blind animals for sacrifice, is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled and diseased animals, is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?"

I am reading this not from a position of shame or religion but one of grace. God has blessed us with the incredible honor and joy of partnering with him in global transformation! He has given us the key to heaven, to be with him forever, to know him and be known by him. He has paid our price and set us free, forgiven us of all wrong. Reading Malachi, I am filled with a greater longing to give my all to him! He so deserves it!

Praise God we don't have to sacrifice animals anymore. But rather, according to Romans 12, we are the sacrifice--a living one, daily laying down our rights to pursue God's ways. So when I read about crippled and diseased animals being sacrificed in Malachi, I think about my own offering to God each day. Do I delight in spending time with him? Or do I see it as a burden, just another thing in my schedule? Do I give myself fully to the things he's asked me to do--in my work, my studies, my friendships, my worship, my quiet time--or do I go at everything half-heartedly?

In Hebrews it says we have received a kingdom unshakable--which deserves awe-filled worship to God.

Do I live in thankfulness? Or do I complain about this amazing life I have, daily getting to serve and love Jesus, more and more?

In Malachi 3:10, God says, "...Test me in this...and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

This is not to say that our motivation should be blessing and provision. God knows our hearts. But it got to me, how deeply the Lord is moved by our sacrifices of love to him. He's saying if you will only give me everything--if you will only choose me first--if you will only live for me. He's ready to open heaven, release the fullness of his presence and his purpose in our lives!

And this is what he says in 3:17 about those who choose to sacrifice everything for the sake of his name: "They will be mine...in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him."

There is a difference between those who are sold-out for the Lord and those who are on the fence. The difference is fullness. You can't understand how amazing God is if you don't find it worth it to know him.

I pray that God speaks to you through the book Malachi, and your eyes are opened more to the worthiness of the Lord! May we live wholeheartedly for him, full of faith and joy even when sacrifice needs to happen.

Establishing Kingdom Culture

Violence is a major issue amongst the youth of Hawaii. It is not only accepted, but often encouraged and promoted. With families here from various islands throughout the Pacific, racism is a normal experience also.

A couple of weeks ago at community outreach, one of the older boys grabbed a couple of 4-year-olds, put them face-to-face, and started chanting: "Fight! Fight! Fight!" We've learned to not be surprised by constant name calling, coarse language, crying, screaming, accusing, punching, throwing things, etc. It's a sad reality that only love and relationship can change.

There are two younger girls who are often at each others' throats. Today they got off the bus arguing and accusing each other, and soon afterwards were full-on fighting. One ended up in a corner crying, as friends ran to her defense. The other--who had apparently started the whole uproar--stood off to the side staring into space with a slight hint of regret on her face.

After a couple minutes of talking with both of them gently individually, something beautiful happened. The girl who started it became suddenly repentant. I said to her, "How about let's just agree not to make fun of people or say hurtful things anymore?"

And she genuinely agreed!

Then something even more Kingdom happened. She apologized to the girl she'd hurt. When no response came, she reached into her goodie bag from school and started offering small gifts to her weeping enemy, until most of her bag had been emptied out.

I told her I was proud of her, and as the other girl wasn't ready to forgive, I suggested we leave and go play. But she only walked with me for a moment. Then she turned back to the crying girl and sat next to her, speaking gently to her.

A few minutes later they were in the bathroom together, the repentant one putting a rub-on tattoo on the other girl's hand.

In a context where we aren't supposed to talk much about God, it was so amazing to SEE the Gospel lived out by these two girls. It totally broke every standard their little elementary school culture has placed over them, of fighting, resentment, bitterness, exclusion, and anger.

God does not want us to simply preach His truth. He wants us to establish the culture of His Kingdom all over the earth. And it is happening!! "Your Kingdom come...on earth as it is in heaven."!!!! Yes and amen!!!

Treasure.

Tonight I get to share with the kids on campus about treasure, how Jesus is the greatest treasure we could ever have. I've been thinking about it and just struck with the truth of this simple concept.

We have a choice right now to chase after God with everything in us. He can either be just another thing in our life, or He can be the one we desire more than any other. We have the choice to step into the fullness of His love today!

Jesus really is amazing. We say it and hear it all the time, but it's time to get that  into our hearts! To desire The Lord. Not just going through the motions but longing for him like we long for water on a hot summer day. 

Jesus...may our hearts desire you as a treasure. May we truly see and know your beauty, your value and worth, your perfection. May we follow you not out of obligation but out of fascination. Let us fall more in love with you each day as lesser lovers fade away.

Give us undivided hearts towards you--you truly are worthy.

Dreaming of a Violin

Random poem I just wrote based on a dream I had in London, Summer 2012)
The violin struck.
A soft warm pitch.
Like wine on the tongue.

Laughter. Sighs of delight.

But something was amiss.

No. A stirring in my heart.
Something is wrong.
That note is too long.
It's from a bad source.

Stop!

The young couple didn't hear.
Too lost in the music.
Lost in each other.

I felt sick.

In came the older ones.
The mom and dad,
Full of wisdom.

She caressed my shoulder.
"It's okay, don't worry,"
Her slithering, patronizing words.

A snake.

I could almost see it, about to strike.

How is everyone so blind?

Old and young,
Young and old,
Pay attention to the story told.

Do not seek the sound of this age.
Do not let complacency win the battle for your mind.
Do not let yourself be blind.

Look to heaven.
The Throne room.

Rejoice.
Be saved.

What God likes to Do.

I was reading this passage this morning and so amazed I wanted to share! It's about when Paul went to Ephesus (from Acts 19...and I added some emphasis):

"...There he found some disciples and asked them, 'Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?'

"They answered, 'No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.'

"So Paul asked, 'Then what baptism did you receive?'

"'John's baptism,' they replied.

"Paul said, 'John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus.' On hearing this, they were baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. 
When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied. There were about twelve men in all.

"Paul entered the synagogue and spoke boldly there for three months, arguing persuasively about the kingdom of God. But some of them became obstinate; they refused to believe and publicly maligned the Way. So Paul left them. He took the disciples with him and had discussions daily in the lecture hall...This went on for two years, so that all the Jews and Greeks who lived in the province of Asia heard the word of the Lord.

"God did extraordinary miracles through Paul, so that even handkerchiefs and aprons that had touched him were taken to the sick, and their illnesses were cured and the evil spirits left them.

"...Many of those who believed now came openly and confessed their evil deeds. A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly. When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas [that's several million dollars!]."

WOW!!!!!!!!!! I believe God is still moving like this TODAY! Thank you Jesus!!!!!